(Every) Monday we go and watch a movie that gets chosen for us. Since the public transport ride back isn't especially interesting we rate the movie for you. Enjoy:

White Bird 🕊️👩‍❤️‍👨🪖

**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE** ** Beretta Holding S.A. Addresses the Portrayal in “White Bird”** Beretta Holding S.A., a company with a storied legacy in precision firearms manufacturing, wishes to address its portrayal in the recent cinematic release, “White Bird.” While we recognize the importance of artistic expression and commend the film …

Immaculate ✝️👶🪨

**Petrus:** Michael Mohan, your film “Immaculate” has reached the gates of Heaven, and I must say, it has caused quite a stir. **Michael Mohan (Director):** I’m honored that it’s been noticed up here, Petrus. I aimed to capture the essence of psychological horror within the confines of a convent. **Petrus:** …

the kill room 🖼️🛍️☠️

*An Ode to One-Time Usable Plastic Bags* — **Act I: The Gallery of Gilded Guile** In this celluloid cathedral, where chiaroscuro cavorts with clandestine commerce, we find our protagonist, **Patrice** (played by the ineffable **Uma Thurman**), swathed in existential ennui. Her eyes—two opalescent orbs—dart like startled starlings across the gallery …

Dream Scenario 😴😊😤

The fellas were sitting in a train by MVV and DB that was on time, started on the correct Plattform and wheelchair accessible. They realised it had to be a dream. They wrote the following review:  “Dream Scenario” stands as a testament to the power of original storytelling and the …

Drive-Away Dolls 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏎️🔪

The fellas got lost in a luxury hotel and heart a shocking report from a Christian chamber maid who told them the following:  Drive-Away Dolls (also known as Drive-Away Dykes) is the latest film from Ethan Coen, who co-wrote the script with his wife Tricia Cooke. The film stars Margaret …

Lisa Frankenstein 🪓🧟‍♂️❤️

After looking in the mirror and seeing to pale faces the fellas said to each other: It’s time to make a change. They went on a trip on buying a new solarium. They went to the solarium store and looked at their options. Careful and calculated as they are, they …

Jules 🛸👴👵

We watched the movie Jules yesterday and we really enjoyed it. It was a heartwarming story about an old man who finds a new friend in an alien who crashes in his backyard. The alien, Jules, is very cute and funny. He can read minds and make things happen with …

The Marsh King’s Daughter 🪵🥾☠️

Instead of going to the movie, the fellas went hiking this week. Due to a misstep one fella fell into a 5 meter deep hole. As life returned into his body, his eyes glimpsed at an incredible sight. He saw a movie review that somebody has written on the wall: …