(Scene: A dusty courtroom in the heart of the Wild West. Cowboys and townsfolk fill the gallery, eagerly anticipating the trial of “The Dead Don’t Hurt.” The judge, a grizzled old man with a six-shooter on his hip, bangs his gavel.)
**Judge**: Order! Order in the court! We’ll have this here trial of “The Dead Don’t Hurt.” Let’s hear from the defense!
(Defendant’s lawyer, a slick-talking cowboy named Slick, steps up to the stand. Immediately, the prosecutor, a grumpy old codger named Grumble, hurls an empty whiskey bottle at him. Slick ducks, the bottle shattering behind him.)
**Slick**: Your Honor, folks, this movie’s a masterpiece. It’s got a unique play with time and expectations. (A gunshot rings out, grazing Slick’s hat, sending it flying.)
**Grumble**: Objection! It’s way too long and ain’t got no real plot line!
**Judge**: Sit down, Grumble! Slick, you keep talkin’.
**Slick**: (Straightening his jacket) Thank you, Your Honor. As I was sayin’, the cinematography’s stunning, shot on location (we assume). And the actors, top-notch!
(Grumble swings a lasso at Slick, who deftly dodges, letting it catch a ceiling beam instead.)
**Grumble**: They promised us a showdown, and it was over quicker than a rattlesnake’s sneeze!
**Slick**: (Wiping sweat from his brow) The music was simple yet effective, hit all the right notes at the right times. (A gunshot whizzes by, hitting the spittoon next to Slick.)
**Judge**: (Firing six shots into the air) Enough! Y’all need to calm down or I’ll throw the lot of you in the clink!
**Grumble**: (Throwing down his hat) Your Honor, the fight scenes were a joke! That hyped-up final act was too short, no tension at all. We wanted a real brawl, not a schoolyard scrap! And what’s with her ex, Spanish lessons, bar work? No conflict there!
**Slick**: (Rolling his eyes) Those scenes added depth, Grumble. It’s about the journey, not just the destination. Plus, them moving in together, that rose was still wet—true love, folks!
(A cowboy in the gallery shoots his gun in the air, hollering. The judge glares, and the cowboy slinks down in his seat.)
**Judge**: I’ve heard enough. This here movie’s got its strengths and weaknesses. “The Dead Don’t Hurt” is allowed to run, but we’re slappin’ a warning label on it: Only if you love scenery.
(The gallery erupts in chaos. Bottles fly, guns blaze, and lassos swing as everyone vents their feelings on the verdict.)
**Judge**: (Shooting his gun into the ceiling again) Court adjourned! Now get out before I arrest the whole dang town!
(Scene ends with Slick and Grumble glaring at each other, the townsfolk still brawling in the background as the credits roll.)
6/10